Don't Get Mad or Depressed, Get Busy

No matter how focused, determined, positive or jovial you are, there will come a time in this search when depression will raise its ugly head. Everyone experiences it. Depression is often associated with the “dead” time between getting ready for your search and the first interview. It can also arise between interviews and certainly at the time you are told that you didn’t get a position for which you applied.

Whether you are rejected from the interview selection process and really know you are the best-qualified applicant, or for dozens of reasons, legitimate or otherwise, perceived or real, it still hurts and the pain exists. Don’t give in!!! Acknowledge the feeling, but take the steps to move on!!

Any number of things can work against a positive outcome over the course of your job search and knock you out of the running for that “ideal” job. What makes the difference between winners and losers is how you handle this natural phenomenon. Keeping busy is one part of the solution. An old boss of mine, Howard Tullman, always said, “Good enough never is.” How true. There is always something you can do or re-do to improve your situation. Don’t get mad, get busy!

As I told you earlier, this is a tough business and only the tough and smart survive. Toughness also requires intense dedication and persistence.

Below, in Exercise 1.2, I have inserted the 25 Rules I ask my personal clients to follow during the course of their work with me. If you are smart, you will develop and maintain a positive attitude and accept responsibility for your actions as called for in these rules.

Remember, you are in charge of this search, no one else. MAKE SIX PRINTED COPIES OF THE RULES. Post them in the following locations:

• On the bathroom mirror
• On the refrigerator door
• Back of your front door
• In your briefcase
• One for your search partner or significant other
• In your 3-ring binder

Posting a copy on the bathroom mirror, or so near to it that you can’t miss it, ensures that you will see it at least twice daily. While brushing your teeth, read the rules to yourself. What else do you have to do anyway while you are brushing? Then say Rule 25 out loud. Either before or after the mouthwash is OK. When you go to the kitchen for breakfast, a meal or snack, look over the list on the refrigerator.

You and your search partner (or job search helper) are to agree, in advance, on a time each week when and where you say the rules out loud to him/her while that person listens and follows along using a separate copy. This is one of the hardest tasks you will perform in your search.

Why? Because very few of us like accountability and feel embarrassed when we have to present ourselves to others, especially when we may not have done enough the previous week to live up to these rules.

Putting the document on the back of the front door reminds you that as you go out into the world, you have a mission and nothing will dissuade you from it. At lunch or wherever you spend your noon period, pull it out of your briefcase and read it to yourself. Go post these around your house, right now.

OK, now that you’ve printed, read, signed and posted the three in-home agreements and placed one in your 3-ring binder and one in your briefcase, I want you to give your search partner or job search helper their “rules” agreement. WHAT? You didn’t post them? Go do it now!!

Discuss your signed agreement with your search partner and secure that person’s agreement to assist you in your search. Of course, your search partner or job search helper wants to support and help you, but knowing how may be challenging. By providing a structured method for helping, you ensure the constructive support you need from that person.

If you don’t have a search partner, a friend will do. Make sure it is a good friend because he/she will be receiving a telephone call from you weekly to discuss your search and to hear you repeat your commitment statement.

If you are too embarrassed to do this, or you don’t have any friends, then you need to find a support group. You will need the support.